young female comes to ER complaining of neck pain...
me: I'm sorry your neck hurts, were you in an accident?
her: not really, i was pulling on my weave but it was stuck on real good and now my neck hurts!
me: ???
middle-aged female complains of pain in her knees...
me: how long have you been having pain?
her: 6 months
me: did you injure them recently?
her: no
me: is the pain worse today?
her: no
me: are you having difficulty walking?
her: no
me: so what brings you into the ER today?
her: i just wanted someone to look at them
me: ???
old guy comes to the ER stating he wants an enema...
me: does your belly hurt?
him: no
me: does it feel distended?
him: no
me: do you feel like you have to go to the bathroom?
him: no
me: why are you here?
him: i didn't take my laxative today and i didn't have a bowel movement so i want an enema.
me: that's it?
him: yes
me: ???
worst part of this story is that he called 911 and came to the hospital by ambulance, and then, after an enema, he wanted me to order an ambulance to take him home because "i don't want to bother my son that i live with and besides my insurance will pay for it!"
POINT: next time you are the in the EMERGENCY with an actual emergent condition please remember that your overwhelmed doctor is desparately trying to get to you, but first he has to wade through the endless tide of bs complaints that are clogging up ERs across the country.
me: ???
ps: "???" is the polite shorthand for WTF
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WHO in the world goes to an ER to sit for hrs to get an enema??? WHO even wants a perfect stranger (in spite of them being medically trained) to give THEM an enema??? Do it yourself & get on with your day. Poor lonely old man.
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